Friday, January 13, 2012

well i did it

I went of my meds (wellbutrin 300mgs, lexapro 30mgs, buspar 30mgs bid) cold turkey about a week ago. It has been rough and today has been by far the worst. I have been experiencing a colorful array of discontinuation symptoms, including (but not limited to) nausea, sweating, cramping, loose stools, brain zaps, dizzyness, confusion, chills, vertigo, vision disturbances, and ringing in the ears (more like the sound of a deafening waterfall invading my brain every time I move my head too quickly). Emotionally I think I am doing ok. I haven't gotten super depressed or anything, but I have been a bit weepy, although I could attribute that to the fact that my period is due any day now. The physical sensations have been wreaking havoc with my health anxiety, though. I seriously feel like I am dying of about seven horrible diseases right now. Still, I have come this far. It can't go on much longer, right?

I haven't posted in so long. I wonder if anyone out there still reads this thing? My Christmas was ok. I have just been working alot and very tired and a bit overwhelmed. I am particularly concerned about the upcoming week as I worked yesterday, today, and will work every day until next friday. For those of you not into doing the math, that is 8 days straight. I think I need to pull my boss aside and politely request to not be scheduled for more that 5 days in a row. I mean, I am proud of myself that I am now capable of working and I think that it is really great and all, but I am not freaking superwoman, you know!

I see Dr. Steenblock on feb 3rd and I am not looking forward to telling him that I quit taking my meds. I wonder what he will say. Is there even a point in seeing a psychiatrist if you are not going to take any meds?

I DID finally call my therapist to make an appointment. I have been so busy with work and Christmas that I havent seen her since mid november. I could really stand some therapyright about now.

Ok I have more to say but to be honest the tyoing isnt going very well at the moment. Hope you are all having a good 2012 so far!