Let's examine the evidence, shall we?
1. Yesterday I lost my balance and tripped, nearly falling flat on my face. I stuck my hands out in front of me just in time to stop my face from hitting the floor, and jammed my right arm pretty bad. It hurt for the rest of the day. What awesome feat on balance and coordination was I attempting when this occured, you ask? I was putting on my underwear. Oh yeah.
2. I got these "Smooth Away" pads that are supposed to buff away unwanted hair. So I was going to town on my upper lip, and I must say I got it pretty smooth and hairless, but within ten minutes it was bright red and burning. I woke up the next morning with a nasty scap across my upper lip that lasted a few days. I was at the doctor yesterday and she asked me "so what are you doing for that cold sore?" and I had to explain to her that it was a self-inflicted wound, the result of grooming gone awry. Good times.
3. I decided to be a little bit naughty and leave Chris a seductive "heavy breathing" message on his phone yesterday while he was at school. He called me about an hour later, sounding worried, and asked me if I had heard from his parents, because he got a strange message from them. For some reason his phone told him the message was from them. Totally not my fault. But I had to explain that it was just me trying to be sexy, and by then the effect was lost. Oh well, I tried.
Judgement and Regrets
1 month ago