Hmm, I figured it was time for another post. Just not sure what to say.
We are all moved back to our new apartment and I must say it is FABULOUS! Everything is new, the carpets, the kitchen, the furniture. Our new mattress is so freaking comfortable, which is kind of a bad thing, because it just makes it harder to get out of bed in the morning. For the first couple of days it felt kind of weird, but now it feels like home I guess.
It started to rain last saturday and rained every day until today. Yesterday I was watching the puddles increase in size and felt very stressed out, worrying about flooding. I just dont think I have it in me to do all this again, so soon. But today it is dry and the sun is shining, so it ok.
Chris told me the other day that he was suprised by how I have handled this whole flood thing. He thinks I even handled it better than he did! It was nice to have someone notice my herculean effort not to have a total nervous breakdown. I'm not used to being complimented on my inner strength!
I'm not taking Lexapro anymore because I started having symptoms of seratonin syndrome. I think what I want to do is get off the Pristiq and then start taking Lexapro again. I see Dr Sean next week so hopefully he will be ok with that. I still like Dr Sean, but I am starting to think maybe I need to see an actual psychiatrist. Maybe I will try again to find one. I dont know...
I went to a legislative forum on mental health the other night. There were candidates and incumbants there (county supervisors, senators, representatives) and they were asked questions and each got a chance to respond. Most of the questions were about county funding for mental health programs. Alot of the answers seemed rehearsed, or like political bs, just bashing the other party. So that was kind of lame. But what interested me was one senator talking about the mental health parity law that was passed and he mentioned that substance abuse and EATING DISORDERS were excluded! Mental health parity means that insurance companies would be required to pay the same amount for mental health treatments as they would for other illnesses like cancer or diabetes. I couldnt believe that eating disorders would be excluded from this, since they are the most deadly or all psychiatric disorders! So after the forum I approached the senator and asked him why ED's were excluded and he said basically it was the pressure from insurance companies. I dont know how it all works whan you are tying to pass a law, but from what he said it sounded like they were just trying to get the law through and they had to make some comprimises to get it passed and this was one of them. It just makes me so mad, that insurance companies can influence lawmakers like that! So messed up....
Anyways the senator started asking me about myself (probably because he wanted me to think he cares so I would vote for him, duh) and I told him a little about my story and about the lack of ED treatment in Iowa and he seemed really suprised that there were no programs around here. I told him about how Covenant had one but it closed, and Lutheran had one but it closed. I told him about how its not only hard to find good care, but also to get insurance to pay for it. I told him that usually you have to get so sick that you need to be admitted on a medical basis, and then once you are stable insurance stops covering, so you get discharged before you are ready, and the cycle starts over. When someone with an ED is denied good treatment, the result is usually multiple ER visits and acute psych or med admissions. In the long run, it can be even more expensive than the treatment center would be! When will insurance companies wake up and see this!
Ok I am done whining about that. Actually it is 10:30 in the am, which means I should probably make a move to get out of my jammies and start my day ;)
Love you all!
Judgement and Regrets
6 days ago