Still no internet, so I am sitting in a freezing cold coffee shop and their ceilling fan is blowing on me full-blast. I have a huge headache that started in my forehead. Despite the ibuprofen I took, it has spread to the rest of my head and my eyeballs and I now have a sore throat.
Hey just now the Qwest guy called and he said our internet was good to go. Well, we'll see....
So tonight I am going to the nutrition and diabetic education center at our local hospital to help run an ED support group. Last month I went, and there was no one there but the facilitator, so we just sat and talked for awhile and by the end she had asked me to help out with the group. I guess I was flattered and excited at the time, but today I dont feel like going. I just want to lay on the couch and nurse my headache. But I am going to follow through because this is something I really want to do. I will let you all know how it goes.
Ok so here is the BIG news: I completed my CNA program on Sunday!!!! TO be officially certified and able to work I still have to take the state test, but I am through with the school part and I even got an A! This might not seem like a big deal to alot of people, as it was only a 3 month course. But it is HUGE for me. I attempted college twice in the 90's and droppecd out both times. As I got sicker and more dysfunctional and ended up on soc security, I assumed I would never be able to handle a job or school and just staying out of the hospital was about the best I could hope for in life. I have been on social sec for 11 years now. The past 2 years I have been feeling like maybe I want to push myself and see if I could accomplish an educational or vocational goal, but it just seemed like there were so many barriers. Even the task of applying to school was daunting (and it was only community college!). something as simple as aquiring my high school transcript was very stressful, because it involved tracking down phone numbers and calling people I didn't know and stuff. Then I had to apply, and after that I had to register. I am working with Vocational Rehabilitation, and I really just wanted my voc rehab counsellor to do all this stuff for me, but she wanted m to do it myself. Getting into the CNA program was hard because of all the paperwork. I needed proof of a physical and background checks. Oh, and the school kept telling me the wrong date to apply, and then acting like they had no idea what I was talking about when I called them and they told me something different. Most of the time I felt stupid and humiliated, like I was having a hard time with suff that millions of students do effortlessly every year.
The class itself was not that hard. getting there at 8 am every Sat sucked, though. I am NOT a morning person, plus the 200mgs of Trazadone I take at night make it hard for me to get up in the morning. But I made it.
Judgement and Regrets
1 month ago