Well, I've survived another day, and I guess you could say that I've calmed down a bit. I made it through the day yesterday managing to purge only once, so I'm a bit encouraged by that. A barf-free day WOULD be nice, though.
It's freezing here in Iowa! I have an electric blanket on my bed and it keeps it so ice and toasty that I never want to leave it. I stayed in bed a good part of the day yesterday and most of this morning as well. I did have to venture forth this afternoon to call "Bingo" at the retirement home, where I'm barely hanging on to a job as an activities assistant. It was nice getting out, and my job gives me purpose. I love brightening the days of the senior citizens that I work with. I put on a smile, and someone there always says something nice that makes me feel loved and appreciated.
I'm working on keeping up a regular intake of food. I write everything I eat down, which I am not sure is helpful, but at least I will have something to show the dietitian when I see her. She'll be able to get a good idea of my patterns and so on. I'm having some low sodium Progresso soup right now, because the low sodium varieties have a lot of potassium in them. It's been a really long time since I have had labs drawn, but my legs were cramping so bad yesterday I wonder if my potassium could be low.
I don't have much else to write about, except that I'm getting off of abilify and that's a real bitch. Today is day 3 of absolutely no abilify. I'm not having any physical withdrawal symptoms but my mood is pretty low. If it gets too bad Dr Kamran (my psychiatrist) says to call him and go back on the abilify. We'll see what happens. I don't want to go back on it because I gained soooo much weight while taking it, and I also have concerns about getting type 2 diabetes. But I'm not going to let my depression get so bad that I end up in the hospital again.
I guess we will see.
Judgement and Regrets
1 week ago