I don't know what to say. I want to post more often, but lately I feel like it is just the same old sh*t. My anxiety is still high. My depression is still bad. The meds don't seem to be working. I'm just barely dragging ass through the day.
After much internal debate I decided to go see Dr. Sean yesterday, for two reasons. Reason number one is I think my chloresteral may be high, so I wanted to get that checked. I didn't know I was supposed to fast for that, so the dr put the lab order in and I have to go do it tomorrow. I was supposed to do it today but I just didn't feel like it this morning.
The second reason is I suspect I have high mercury levels. I was reading this book called "Tired of Being Tired" and there was a chapter about environmental toxins and I was reading mercury poisoning sympoms and I have like all of them. I have alot of amalgum fillings in my teeth and that is where I think I might be at risk. So anyways, when I go in for the blood draw tomorrow I also get to pee in a cup so they can test it for heavy metals.
I know what you are thinking: Lisa this sounds like health anxiety. I know. I KNOW! But my mind keeps thinking, "what if?".
So related to that is something I am embarrassed about but I will write about it.
I went to the ER last night.
I have been having this feeling of pressure on my chest lately, like something is sitting on it. It kind of feels like when your chest is congested, like from a cold, but I dont have a cold. I called my doctor's office but Dr. Sean was gone for the day and the nurse said to go to the ER. I really didn't want to, seriously. But I kept thinking "what if I'm in heart failure?". So I went. They did an ekg, a chest x-ray, and monitored my heart and guess what......I'm fine. Now I feel like a huge dumbass, especially when my doctor gets the report of me being in the ER on the SAME DAY that I was in to see him.
So no, I don't really think that the Lexapro is having a noticeable effect on my health anxiety.
um, I guess that's about it for now.
Judgement and Regrets
1 week ago