med changes

I didn't mention in my last post bad I have been in a pretty bad depression lately. Last December I was depressed and saw Dr. Sean and we decided to keep the wellbutrin, discontinue the Lexapro and start taking Viibryd instead. Viibryd is a newer drug that I haven't tried and it has an action that is a little different form the other SSRI's/SNRI's. And lets be honest, its pretty hard to find a depression med that I haven't already taken so I was all for givng it a shot. After titrating up to the reccomended dose I was actually feeling better (this was December and early January). Then my mood started dropping quite suddenly and I became really depressed for about a week and was also suicidal. I took steps to keep myself safe and let people know what was going on, and I also had a few extra appointments with Scott. I started feeling better and was good for about a week, but now 10 days ago or so I started getting really depressed again and was basically in the same situation: suicidal, Chris had to lock up my meds, had to get an extra appointment with Scott.  

     Scott told me that what he observed was that the viibryd wasnt working very well for me and that I should call Dr. Sean. I didn't really want to believe that the new drug wasnt helping and I just kept thinking that the sadness would pass, but over the weekend I was crying alot and feeling very suicidal so I did have to admit that things are not going well. I got in to see Dr. Sean today. Even though Dr. Sean told me that he would have liked to have seen a response to the Viibryd by now, he respected the fact that I didn't want to give up on it yet. But he was concerned and wanted me to make two changes. One was to increase my wellbutrin from 200mgs to 300mgs. I know that is still not a large dose and I am trying not to worry about it, but the increase is triggering my health anxiety and I am worrying about having a seizure.

 The other change Dr. Sean made was adding abilify, which I am very nervous about, but he is only trying it on me for a week and I will go back next week and we will go from there. I swore I would never take antipsychotics again. I hate the weight gain and the other side effects. I only agreed to try abilify because I haven't tried it yet and I have heard good things about it from other people. I have been on seroquel and risperdal before (seperatley and together) and I wasn't crazy about the way they made me feel, although the seroquel was great for stopping my anxious thoughts. The downside was that it made thinking and concentrating about almost anything pretty hard.

So that is where I am at right now. I will be starting the new dose of wellbutrin and the abilify tomorrow so we'll see.