well, its sunday again. why does the rest of the week, especialy saturday, go so fast, and sunday goes so slow. can anyone explain this to me? its like some sort of time warp. i really do not like sundays. here's why:
1. theres nothing to do. NOTHING! we cant go to the store, cause that would be breaking the sabbath. we cant go out to eat for the same reason. we are also not supposed to go hiking/camping/fishing or anything else fun or entertaining. so this might be an ideal time to catch up on housework, you say? WRONG! that would be too much work from the sabbath. two weeks ago i decided to do some laundry on a sunday cause we really needed clean clothes. you should have seen the look of dissapointment/disgust my husband sent my way. after all, his mom would NEVER do laundry on a sunday.
2. the tv is on ALL DAY. like i said, theres nothing for the kids to do. so usually i let them watch tv. all day. i hate that. i dont want us to be a family that zones out in front of the tv. but on sunday there arent many alternatives. for the record, idont think that when Heavenly Father said to keep the sabbath day holy he imagined a scenario in which our activities would be so restricted we would just sit in front of the tube like zombies.
3. we have to go to church. i am really not liking church. with my anxiety disorder, it is like a 3 hour panic attack. also, im not really sure that i believe in the book of mormon or the restored gospel anymore. so i feel really out of place and alone inside when i am at church. like i have "reject" stamped on my forehead.
4. i have the nursery calling. two hours in a small room with 20 screaming toddlers. panic, anyone?
back when i was eating the xanax like candy, sunday was my heaviest using day. it took me a couple of mg's just to get in the doors of the chapel. but it made things bearable. i really miss the xanax. especially on sundays.
Judgement and Regrets
1 week ago