Hey. I just wanted to say thank you for the support on my last post. I am doing better.
When I get upset my emotions get REALLY intense. It's like I can go from 0 to 100 in an instant. It is uncomfortable to be in such emotional distress, but I think that I have made progress, because I can tolerate it without acting on any of the self-harm urges or doing anything else crazy or impulsive.
I haven't had alot of time to read or comment on blogs the past few days because of some stuff going on at home. Emma, my 9 year old, is really struggling with anxiety and depression and I have been worrying about her and trying to focus more on her (and our family in general). Not that I am neglecting myself. I know I have to take care of myself so I can be healthy and take care of my family. I am just trying to find a balance.
For example, I have decided to start driving Emma to school instead of having her take the bus. This way she can get a few minutes more sleep and hopefully have a more relaxed start to her day. But it also means that I actually have to get up and function in the morning, which means I have to try to go to bed earlier at night. This is hard for me, because night time is my "me time", when I usually check blogs and stuff. I could still do this as soon as the kids went to bed, but that would mean that I would be totally neglecting my husband. Sigh. It seems like everyone wants a piece of me! It's so hard for me to carve out a little time for myself.....
I am thinking about going back to weekly therapy. I had cut back to every other week, but things have been kind of stressful. Besides my depression and anxiety, I am having trouble with my marriage and worrying about Emma. I think I need at LEAST an hour a week to deal with all of this.
Sorry I am so whiny right now. I am just SO GRUMPY! Getting up early makes me grumpy.
p.s. sorry about the swear in the previous post. I was just going throught some really intense emotions. I know that not many people are offended by swearing these days, but if you were, I apologise.
Judgement and Regrets
1 week ago