im sad

Sorry my posts have been kind of dark and deppressing lately. Im afraid this one is more of the same. Im just in a funk, deppressed, cant seem to pull my head out of the toilet. i have therapy in a few minutes with my husband and i am dreading it. i spend most of the day not thinking about the things that are getting me down kind of on purpose, and in therapy i have to not only think about them but i have to talk about them too. i have therapy tomorrow as well, and i also see my psychiatrist tommorrow. Im hoping he (the doctor) will take me off some of the "extra" meds that i have been weaning off. That would be great.
I found out more about my moms cancer- it is a stage 3 but her doctor didnt really even want to stage it cause her case is so unique. She will be on iv interferon every day for a month, then get shots of it 3 times a week for a year. I guess this is pretty standard treatment for melanoma that has metastasised. But i was reading about it on web md and found out that only 20% of people respond to the treament, and the only way you can tell if the treatment has worked is if you dont get cancer back. So its kind of like a waiting game that my mom will be playing for the rest of her life. But it could be worse, i guess, so i am tryiing to focus on the positives. Like my mom is young and healthy so hopefully the treatment wont be so bad for her. I hope this whole thing inspires my sister to stop going to the tanning bed but i doubt it.
I have to go get ready for my appointment but i will try to post later. Hopefully i will be in a better mood. I have one positive observation to make before i go- the trees looked absolutely beautiful this morning with the frost on them; it was like a winter wonderland! Im glad i am able to appreciate the little things like that.