I worked out today- not too hard. I feel really good about it. Chris says i seem like im in a better mood when i work out. The hardest thing for me is being motivated to go. One bonus is that the Y has a playroom for preschool age kids that Annie really likes, so i feel like i am doing bolth of us a favor when we go. She gets to run around and get out some energy- something she doesnt really get to do alot of in the winter. I like going to the Y also cause its not very intimidating- its mostly older people who are not super in shape. I have alot of problems with comparing and think i would not be able to relax in a regular gym. My negative mind would just be shouting at me the whole time, things like " you need to be as thin as her" or "look how tiny her waist is" or my favorite "youre too fat to work out! leave and come back when youve lost weight!". I know, I know, its ridicolous! But i am getting better at not listening.
After the Y, Annie and i went to Target. I love Target. For some reason going there feels less like shopping and more like a recreational outing. i always find something good when i go there. Today i got these mini-cans of cherry 7up for the girls. I dont usually give them pop, but these cans were sooo cute, and i think that once in awhile is ok. But the main reason we went to the store was to buy Annie her first BIG GIRL UNDIES! She is doing really good with the potty training and i think she is almost ready for them! She looked and looked and finally decided on one package of Ariel and one of Disney Princess. Actually, she had wanted some thomas the train undies, and i had to explain to her that those were "boys undies". This brought on a major gut-check moment for me and i had to revisit my ideals regarding not forcing my children into gender roles. But for some reason i just wanted her to wear the girly undies. Then to my relief, i remembered that boy's undies are structurally different; they have that opening in the front for the boy's "thingy" to come out so they can pee. So of course i couldnt get her those! I was absolved.
Judgement and Regrets
1 month ago