Ok, once again I am watching something I shouldn't be watching. It's this show in discovery channel about the top 10 ways humans could go extinct. Nuclear war, asteriod impact, plague, you name it. It is totally freaking me out and I may make a food storage run tomorrow. My food storage shelves are totally full, but maybe I can fit some under the beds or in the hall. Then we wouldn't have to leave the house for ahwile in case of a pandemic. I don't know how to prepare for an asteroid, though. i'm pretty sure I'd burn up along with all my canned beans.
Ok, on to something else.
I mentioned in a recent post that I am having some struggles with my church. Since then, I have regretted talking about it on my blog, and just now realize why. I mean, I talk about all kinds of personal stuff on my blog, and mostly have felt good about it. But my religion and spirituality is different somehow. It is not merely personal, it is sacred. Although I am struggling with this every day, i don't think i will be talking about it much here in the future. I may mention it from time to time, but not go into details.
We went to the Blank Park Zoo in Des Moines yesterday. It was kind of lame a zoos go, but some parts were cool. They had some pretty sweet jellyfish. I am trying to figure out how to get pictures from my phone onto the computer so i can put up some pics of some of the fun things we have done this summer.
I have only been on the buspar since thursday, but have seen a huge improvement in my anxiety level. I have to take it 3 times a day. I feel like I am popping pills all day long. Morning, noon, dinner time, nighttime. But its worth it to feel sane again.
I am still preoccupied with how much i weighed at my doctor's office, and am struggling with those ridiculous ED thoughts. You know, the ones that say "you must lose X pounds by you follow up in 3 weeks so he will take you seriously". But thats total bs. The reality is, I wasnt underweight, yet he did take me seriously. So all evidence points to me not needing to lose weight. Aparrently ED hasn't gotten the memo.
Well, thats about it for now. Take it easy :)
Judgement and Regrets
1 week ago