Oh. My. Gosh. I am trying so hard not to delete those pictures of myself that i put up in my last post. You know, the ones where i'm in my swimsuit and I look like a freaking harbour seal? Or the one where i'm in the rock, and my arms look like sausages? Why did I think it was a good idea to post pictures of myself anyway? What was I thinking?
Now that I'm done wigging out, let me tell you about my Exciting New Goal. My T was talking about how most habits can be broken in 21 days (for the record, she was talking about my consumption of diet soda) and i said," gee, if only I could go 21 days without bingeing or purging! That would be so great! I would feel awesome!". Then i thought why not? Why not at least try? I dont want anyone to think i'm oversimplyfying things by saying that Ed's are just habits, cause that's not what i think. And even if i can make it without those behaviors, there is still the restricting, the body image distortions, and negative self talk to deal with. But, still, just think, if i really could go without bingeing and purging, think of all the energy i would have, the money we'd save, the extra time and stress, ect ect. You know.
So I'm going to try (not that i dont try anyway). I think it will make a difference, having a specific goal with a time frame and everything. 21 days sounds like a long time, but i'm just going to take it one day at a time. I'm feeling very excited and hopeful at the moment!
Judgement and Regrets
6 days ago