Monday, December 7, 2009

Dental work FAIL

ok, today has just been the worst and I feel the need to b*tch and moan about it for a bit.

Went to the dentist today for the much anticipated/dreaded cavity fillings that need to get done. One cavity is minor but the other one is so large that the dentist was not sure if it would turn into a root canal rather than a filling. He was going to open up the tooth and see.

So he put a little numbing gel on my gums but the shot of anesthesia still hurt SO BAD! Then i wasn't really getting numb so he had to give me some mor. I cant have novicaine because it messes up my heart and I aready have heart rhythm problems. So I have to have the other stuff but it just doesn't work as well. Anyways, the dentist started to drill my tooth and right away a sharp pain shot through my tooth and face. Obviously I was not numb. The dentist gave me some more shots and was waiting for them to work and then I startd having a minor panic attack. He was like "just breathe" and he stayed with me to make sure I was ok. Did I mention I have the nicest dentist ever? Anyways, I calmed down but still was not numb and he told me that based on my weight (i'm not underweight, they just base the dose on your weight) he could not give me any more anesthesia. Suck.

So I was like "well what are we going to do now?" and he said that once in a while he has a patient that he cannot get numb and they just reschedule the appointment and try again. He also said that my anxiety level probably lowered my pain threshold and made it harder to get numb. He wished he had some nitrous to give me but they don't have that. I said that this was the perfect situation for a Xanax but that I cant take those since I used to be dependent on them. But we decided that I should ask my doctor to give me one Xanax per dental appointment. I mean, I have to get this dental work done! And if all I had was one Xanax and no more there is no way I could abuse it. The problem is hwen I have a full bottle of Xanax and I just take them and take them.

So I have a call into my doctor's office and hopefully he will not think I am drug seeking (well I am in a way) and give me the Xanax. My dentist said that my doctor could call him if he needed to.

So this whole ordeal had pretty much sucked. I had to go through all those painful shots and the anxiety for nothing!!!! Plus I am embarrassed to be such a wuss. I have had 7 root canals and this has never happened to me before!

P.S. I am still going back and forth on the whole slimfast thing. I am tempted to try to let go of the whole diet/weight loss thing for now. For one thing, it's the holidays, and not being able to eat would suck. Also, I am tempted to see if I could learn to love myself and my body. I mean, if I could do it at this weight that would be quite a triumph! So I had the slimfast for breakfast, but for lunch am nibbling on some seasonal foods that I am trying to enjoy with moderation.


Alexandra Rising said...

I had a friend who went in to get her wisdom teeth removed and she had a panic attack and had to reschedule. I don't know if that makes you feel any better, but you aren't alone!
I myself am avoiding the dentist. The last time I went I had not yet begun purging and I am scared. Which is awful because I probably have even more of a reason to go now.
Dentists are scary! The nitrous is kind of fun, though :P

I hope you can come to peace with your body. I really wish it for everyone. I wouldnt recommend slim fast, but I can't put myself in your shoes any more than I can tell you what's right or wrong. Although, if it is true that the FDA did some recall on it as someone posted then I'd say...don't do it!!

And go see that movie, Fantastic Mr Fox, it's laugh inducing. Laughter is THE. BEST. Medicine.

Jessica said...

Arhh i hate dentists, i just get worse with them as i get older

Keely said...

I wanted to write about your slimfast post(I hate it when I miss posts and I don't know if you go back to read past comments...) I agree with everyone's feedback and just wanted to add my support. I know when I was at the bottom in my recovery (not that you're at the bottom, but I mean at the end of your rope, depressed in recovery) I didn't feel strong, or worth it. It is SO MUCH EASIER to go back. I was jealous of those who went back while I struggled both mentally and with body image. But each day it will get a little easier. (Not all days! Especially like the one you had today.) But if I just don't throw up just this one time, it will be a victory for me. If I just sit for 10 minutes, and take a breath. And think about why I'm putting myself through this torture (of recovery) and know that it's worth fighting for. You don't need slimfast. (hug) And if you keep going with eating and keeping going with fighting the food battle with yourself and sitting with it(ahhh!)(despite the "extra" weight you gained). maybe your body will realize that you aren't going to starve it anymore and will drop the extra weight because it won't need to conserve "just in case". I love you no matter what size you are. And I definitely don't think you are fat, overweight, etc.

And then... I hate dentist appts. I have never had cavities, etc. (I am scared of the bills!) But I am glad you have a kind dentist. :)

I Hate to Weight said...

im dodging the dentist. i have some real work that needs to be done and i HATE it. i've had panic attacks at the dentist too.

i don't take benzos either because i used to misuse them BUT i took all the valium i needed when i had lasix on my eyes. and that was that.

dental pain can not be dealt with without help.

Eating Alone said...

Do not start the slimfast crap. You don't need it. You can do this.

Sorry about the dentist. I once had one called Dr. Pain. But she was very nice and we alway's laughed about her name - she married into it.

Cammy said...

Oh man, I usually have a high pain tolerance but I am a WIMP when it comes to dental work and just reading this made me grimace! I hope that your next appointment goes better.

Is there a reason why you want to do the Slimfast stuff specifically? You could make a nice healthy sandwich or something that has the same amount of calories but satisfies you more and doesn't put you in such a strict diet/deprivation mentality about it. I already put out my views on it in a previous comment, so I won't rehash, but truly you deserve to enjoy the holidays with your family without letting that black cloud of ED thoughts/behaviors linger over you.