wow, I recieved some really good feedback regarding my last post and the whole wanting to diet/slimfast thing! It has really made me think about what i am doing.
I think it is true that I am feeling uncomfortable and out of control and am trying to seize back control through restricting. But as Karo said, I need to remind myself that restricting/anorexia has never brought me anything good in my life. It just keeps me trapped in my eating disorder and I lose more of my life battling this disease that has already cost me so much. And like Now said, maybe this is a good opportunity to learn some self- love. how can I learn to love myself if I keep trying to change to make myself loveable?
Today at worship service we were singing a song about how we are changed through the sacrifice of Jesus and some of the lyrics were "we will never be the same, we will never be the same". I want to feel that way. When I choose my ED, I am just being the same old Lisa. I want to be a new creation in the Lord, and I know He has the power to help me conquer my ED. What stops me from letting Him? Is it lack of faith? Fear? I don't know.
Even though all of these thoughts are going through my head, at this point I still really want to lose weight. But at least I am thinking about it.
7 months ago