Tuesday, November 24, 2009

no shocks for me

well, I drove to Waterloo last night for pretty much nothing. Dr T said he would be really uncomfortable doing the ECT's if he could not follow me afterward. He was also really uncomfortable with me not having a psyhiatrist and just getting my meds from a primary care doc. He had several suggestions for what he thought I should do. He thought I should have Dr. S inrease my Pristiq. I am at the max FDA approved dose, but doctor T said he has several patients taking more.

Dr T said "I'm not saying 'no' to ECT's. I just think you should try this first. If you still want ECT's call me and we'll talk about it.".

Well, I wasn't completely sold on the ECT's in the first place. Chris is the one that really wants me to get them. I guess if the doctor had said "sure lets set them up" I would have done it, but I wasn't about to try to talk him into a treatment that I wasn't sure I wanted. I guess this means i'm not getting them.

So I'm a little relieved, and apprehensive all at once. I was looking at shock treatments as kind of a fall back plan.

Well, the good news is the last 2 days I have been feeling a little better. i've had some moments, but overall the trend has been up.

We decorated our apartment for Christmas today and I must say it looks outstanding! I made candy cane cookies and gingerbread (the cake kind). I love Christmas! i will post some pictures soon.

My therapist asked me if Thanksgiving is hard for me (because of all the food). I don't think it is worse than any other day. I mean, I have to face food every day. Sometimes I have success, and sometimes I turn to ED behaviors. Thanksgiving will be no different. I hope I will do good, and certainly will do my best, but if I end up purging I am not going to beat myself up over it. I'm not going to let that ruin the holiday. I am more excited about being with family and having a nice time.

Hope everybody has a nice Thanksgiving!

1 comment:

Cammy said...

I'm glad Dr. T provided you with an alternative to try, especially if you were at all iffy about the ECT. It sounds like he is really thinking about you as an individual, not just another case.

We hear so much hype about holiday stress for people with EDs, but I am totally on the same page of you. With an ED, every day can be a food challenge, and Thanksgiving is just another meal...I guess it depends on family context, etc, but anyway I'm glad you're not ultra-stressed over that and I hope you have a fantabulous holiday with your family. Don't let yourself forget that *you* are one of the things they are probably most thankful for this Thanksgiving.