Monday, November 2, 2009

hello from Monday

well, we had a pretty good Haloween. I just have to say that there is a ton of candy in our house right now and i am having kind of a hard time with it. Both of our girls did trick or treat and trunk or treat, so they each have 2 full bags of candy. Also yesterday, for reasons that I still don't undrstand, except that maybe it was just such a good deal, I bought 2 HUGE bags of candy that was 50% off. So yeah, we got candy.

I had a REALLY hard time getting out of bed this morning. I just feel this huge sense of dread, like I just don't want to face the day.

Did I mention that I have decided to get the ECT's? Well, I have an appointment to see my old psychiatrist that does them, but it's not until the 23rd. Anyway, when I told Chris he did this little "happy dance". Great. You know things are not going well when your husband gets all excited that you are going to get shock treatments. Ok, reframe : Chris loves me and is worried about me and is probably just happy that i have decided to pursue a treatment that could help me feel better.

Ok, I had better list some positives:

The sun is shining today.
I am going to the gym pretty soon. That always helps me feel better.
I had the urge to binge/purge this morning but didn't do it. Go me!
My therapist is back after a 2 week vacay and I see her today!
My apartment is relatively clean.
I have two of the cutest, sweetest girls ever!

Well, I am startig to feel like I should get out of my pj's and go to the gym.

In case I dont post tomorrow, tomorrow is my birthday! So everyone please send be good birthday vibes :).
Love you all!


Cammy said...

Happy Birthday Eve! I am so sorry that things have been hard for you recently, but I am continually in awe of what an awesome mother you are, especially after reading posts like this and the last one, where you talk about how important your girls are to you. Truly, your family is so lucky to have you. I know these are trying times, but hang in there. Remember that taking care of yourself, working towards treating yourself better so you can be healthy and happy, is honestly the best gift in the world you could give to everyone who loves you--and that includes a lot of people! And, regardless of the benefits to others, you simply deserve no less than the best.

Take care and treat yourself kindly, I hope your week is off to a great start.

Alexandra Rising said...

Happy [early] birthday!
Congratulations on the NOT b/p!! It's always so satisfying to realize you wanted to act out a negative behavior but you didnt!
Have you done ECT before? I'm very curious about people who had had positive experiences with it, because my step-mother didnt. But she stopped after 3 treatments...and I wonder if that was part of the problem, because her friend seemed to have successful ECT.
"I had a REALLY hard time getting out of bed this morning. I just feel this huge sense of dread, like I just don't want to face the day." ^I feel like this every morning. I'm glad the gym helps :)

Katie said...

firstly, thanks for your comment :) its good to know im not being judged. thank you so much for that. i didnt feel like you were lecturing me or anything just so you know.
good on you for not b/p ing! thats one of my greatest challenges. sometimes you make progress because you resist, not because you dont. if you get me.
dont worry about the candy! just allow yourself moderate amounts so you dont b/p on it.
take care

Alexandra Rising said...

Hey! Happy Birthday! I think, right?! :)