Monday, November 16, 2009

what I'm gonna do

I'm not going to do the ECT's. I may not even go to the appointment next week with the doctor in waterloo who does them. Actually, I had better go, or Chris will be disappointed that I ddn't at least check it out.

I am going to stop taking my Seroquel and Risperidone, starting tonight. I will inform my doctor of this when I see him on fri, but if he doesn't like it, too bad.

I am going to see my therapist twice a week and we are going to work on finding ME. The me underneath the eating disorder, the depression, the mental illness. The me that maybe never was, that I have to create. I just don't think I can do this kind of therapy on such heavy medicatons.

It may be hard, and i'm scared. There are going to be some rough days ahead. But there should be some exciting, wonderful breakthroughs as well, so it will be worth it.

At least thats what I'm banking on.

3 comments:

now.is.now said...

It sounds like a really good therapist you're working with. and it sounds like you're really ready to do the work.

Is it safe to just suddenly stop taking two medicaitons at once without talking to your doctor first? (Just concerned...)

Eating Alone said...

I'm with now on this. You need to check if it's safe to just stop them like that. I don't want you to get hurt. You might need to taper off them.

That said I hope you find the you that you lost. That's very scary but it's worth it. At least it was scary for me, ok still is.

Alexandra Rising said...

I agree..I'd slowly reduce the amount of medication, rather than quitting cold turkey...that could send you in to a super depression [which wont feel so super].

What made you decide to take such abrupt actions? I wish you well! [Will your husband support you if you decide not to do the ECT?]