I am here and still hanging in there. I even made it through the day yesterday with no Xanax. I did have 1.5 mg of ativan, but it was still better than wed, when I had both the Ativan and the Xanax.
Emma is home "sick" today. She had a temp but is acting just fine and goofy. I had a rough start this morning, not wanting to get up. I guess I was just feeling overwhelmed because I had to go to Victoria's Secret to pay my bill, to Walgreens, and also the grocery store, and I have to make coleslaw and a fruit salad to take to the BBQ in Waterloo this evening. Plus I have my doctors appt this afternoon. Well, I didn't want to do any of these things. I just wanted to sit on the couch in my pajamas and play on the computer and drink diet cokes all day long. But I pu one foot in front of the other, showered and dressed (no makeup today), gave the girls their baths, and ran the errands. The girls were so well-behaved. Well, I bribed them with Happy Meals. But they earned it. Now they are playing WII boxing. SO Cute! I still have to make the coleslaw and fruit salad, but I have time.
I guess the point of this post is to give myself some validation. I am doing it. I might feel like I am on the edge (I might be on the edge), but I am keeping it together.
We'll see how the doctor's appointment goes. The desired outcome will be that Dr.S gives me some more Xanax, preferably Xanax XR, and that he supports my wish to do the IOP, and says he'll fax them my info. That would all be great. I'll update if I have time before we go to Waterloo.
Thanks everyone for sticking with me. I still cant believe I wrote about what I wrote about the other day. i am still kind of in shock about it. So, thanks.
Judgement and Regrets
1 month ago