I want to go back to bed, NOW! I just want to curl up and cover my head and go to sleep so i can wake up and start this day over!
What happened to me this morning was painful, humiliating, horrifying yuckyness that i just want to forget about.
Maybe I am overreacting.
Maybe I should ask my BUTT how IT feels.
This morning, i had to haul IT off to the kindly old doctor's office to have it peered at, poked, prodded, shot up, and cut open.
Oh, and i will probably be having surgery on my poor little bum sometime in the near future.
I know, I know, TMI. But, really, this is the tame version this morning's events. Maybe i shouldn't be writing this post cause i'm going to gross everyone out and noone will ever read my blog again. But hey, i'm the one that started my day with a bunch of gauze stuffed between my cheeks, so give me a break. I can only imagine that this is my punishment for the years of (past) laxative abuse. These days, i love and tend my bowels to the tune of 2 powdery helpings of Miralax a day, but they still haven't forgiven me.
5 weeks ago