Monday, April 27, 2009

flatonmyface

well unfortunately the bulimia came back on sat, with a vengeance! 5x b/p sat, 6+ yesterday. So far today only once. Needless to say, i am very discouraged that i cant seem to get this under control again. My teeth hurt, my throat hurts, i feel like i have been hit by a truck. Oh, and i havent been writing down everything i have been eating for that one lady cause i have just been bingeing too much; it would just be too overwehlming. i havent been back to the Y anyway; i just have been too drained.
i did get some good news today, one ray of sunshine. Due to the "American Recovery and Reinvestment Act", everyone who gets social security or SSI gets a 250 dollar bonus payment next month! Yay! Of course, it's already spoken for due to costly car repairs that we just had to have done, but still, good news.
Well, back to business. I have to get back on track. I'm thinking more and more about trying to see a "real dietician". I'm just worried aboout getting a MP that will cause me to gain weight, which i'm not sure if i'm ready to do, or able to do witout freaking out emotionaly. If anyone has opinions or experiences with dieticians that they think might be helpful, please share? Love to all:)

3 comments:

Zena said...

okay so first off breath...this will pass and you will get throug this...i swears...i have a great D, she is the upmost in believeing if you dont "need" to gain they she wont let you..key being need. Right now I dont need to gain any wieght so her goal is to keep me healthy without restricting or B/P. This is what gets me to her every week...her qoute " I help the overwieght too, I would nt want you here for another reason...my goal is health and only health and freedom for your disease" if shes a good D she will keep you at your optimum wieght not over not under, you just need to put a little trust in them...faith..thats what you need...just a little faith in yourself and a D (N) in my world...

(((hugs)))

Zena

Stella said...

Hi Lisa,

Thanks for checking out my blog! I am excited to finally be a part of blog world and make some blog friends!

I am sorry to hear you have had a rough couple of days. That is awesome that you made it 2 (3?) days without b/p though! That is definitely an acomplishment!

Maybe it would help if you had a MP. Maybe you could suggest to the dietician that, rather than her/him trying to make you gain weight, you could have a MP that will help you maintain so you can first focus on trying to stop b/p and once you aren't struggling with that as much, then you could work on the weight thing. It might seem a lil easier trying to tackle one thing at a time.

That is awesome news about the bonus check! In these tough times, any little bit extra helps - especially if it is a surprise!

Hope you have a better day tomorrow :)

Kara said...

I understand your fears of going to see a dietitian - I TOTALLY do. I've found for myself that that idea of it is scarier than the actual thing. Remember if you see a D, you aren't locked into obeying every word they say. If they make a MP that you don't want to follow, then don't. Hopefully, you'd be able to find a D that would work with you where you are at. If might be helpful to see a D who can help you get the B/Ping under control. Because that's what you want, right?