Well its friday and i made it through another week! Yay! I'm feeling kind of discouraged on the ED front- after five days of no behaviors i had 2 days of bingeing and purging followed by 2 more good days, and then this morning i b/p again. I guess i should just be happy for the success that i have had, but i wish i could be more consistant. I want LASTING recovery, where i dont binge or purge anymore at all. Maybe i am just getting ahead of myself. I am glad that there has been some improvement, and even though it hasnt quite been 2 weeks yet since i started my contract, i think its safe to say that i dont have to look for inpatient treatment. This makes me VERY happy.
I'm still workinng on acceoting my body. I know that eventually i will have ti gain weight if i want a shot at long term recovry. I just don't know- if i can't accept my body right now, how will i accept it at a higher weight?
My life is kind of borring right now. I went to my moms cabin yesterday to spend some time with her. She had some friends there, and i kind of felt like a third wheel. Story of my life.
Oh! How could i have forgotten- I have a new passion (besides diet orange sunkist)! It's iced Perro (or Postum)! I can't drink coffee cause i'm LDS, but i used to drink alot before i joined the church. And i LOVED iced coffee drinks! Well, there is this stuff called perro, it's this fake coffee drink thats ok for mormons. I make a really strong cup (cause the ice will water it down) add ice, and hazelnut flavored splenda and some milk. It's so good! My only complaint is that it doesnt have caffiene. But thats ok i guess, i really dont need the caffiene. Well i hhope everyone has beautiful weather like we do here. Love, all :)
Judgement and Regrets
1 month ago