well, I took a step toward seeing a dietician (of sorts) today. A lukewarm, noncommital type step. But a step nonetheless.
Her name is Debbie, she is in charge of health promotions at the Y that i go to and she is also a personal trainer there. I see her there all the time and have had a few conversations with her about fitness/ working out /nutrition. It's a really small Y. Anyway, she told me today that they are going to have someone there in a few weeks who is doing a nutrition internship. She was asking me what my problem areas were with food and i went ahead and told her that i throw up. It was a huge risk for me, but she didn't react with disgust or act weird or anything, I told her basically that i wanted to have more energy, to be able to work out better, to be able to eat with my family, and i wanted a meal plan that would help me do that. Oh, yeah, and i don't want to gain any weight.
To my suprise, she thought this was possible. She thinks that the key for me is getting more protein. She wants me to write down everything i eat for a few days, and bring it to her next week so she can look it over and help me develop a plan(she doesnt think i shoould wait for the other lady to start working there; she thinks i need to get started now). So i'm going to write down what i'm eating, but i have to be careful, cause in the past food diaries have led to obsession.
I feel glad and kind of relieved that i've taken this new step. but part of me is freaking out. I'm already worrying about what she might add to my daily intake, and if i will be able to do it or not. And what if i do it, and i gain weight? Can I handle that? I feel like i am predicting my failure before i have even given it a chance.
well, first things first i guess. Wish me luck.
Judgement and Regrets
1 month ago