yay- day three no purge! I'm on a roll!
So, i have this NASTY sinus infection, and i finally decided to go to the doctor to get some antibiotics. So i was having major anxiety all morning, cause what happens at the doctors office? YOU GET WEIGHED! And i promised myself not to weigh until monday. Plus, i am doing so well, i do not want to be triggered by whatever my weight might be. Now, i know lots of people get on the scale backwards, but i could never do that. It's just too humiliating for me- makes me feel weird in front of other people passing by. I did consider just flat out (politely) refusing to be weighed. After all, i was just there, like, last month. How much could have changed? Why do they need to know my weight, anyways? I considered thhis and wondered if maybe they need the number so they know what dose they need to give me if they prescribe medications. Then i thought "oh please, i'm not five years old".
So, i was all set to stand my ground (and not stand on the scale) until i got there, and then my nerve began to fail. I am not a very assertive person. While i was waiting for the MA, i decided to just get on the scale and keep my eyes closed and not look at the number. So that is what i did. It was hard, because i REALLY wanted to know, but i felt such a sense of relief and freedom when it was over that it was worth it.
So then, i was sitting in the exam room, and the doctor walks in with my chart, and, after exchanging a few pleasantries, he says "so, your weight has stabalized since december! First _, then _, now it's _!".
I so did not want to know this information! Whyohwhy didn't i tell him the minute he walked in not to mention my weight?
And- it's worse cause its up since i was last there. Just a little, just slightly, but it's up.
Of course, i cant be sure of what i wore last time i was there....
And my appointment today was later in the day.....
......after a 32 oz mug of diet orange....
.....do you think it could have made a difference?
SEE- ITS MESSING WITH ME! This is why i only weigh myself on the same scale! In the morning. Nude. Sorry if thats too graphic for you, but there it is. That way, i know EXACTLY what has or hasnt changed.
I hope someday to have a life where something like getting on the scale at the doctors office is just a neccessary routine, not a life-changing event.
Judgement and Regrets
1 month ago