Wednesday, August 19, 2009

here i go...

i'm leaving to meet the new T in a few minutes. I'm so nervous, why am I so nervous? I've been in therapy for 18 years and have had who knows how many therapists! What's the deal with this anxiety?

Sounds silly, but I think I am most worried that she'll think i'm fat. A big, fat failure. i'm worried she won't like me. And it is so important to me that she likes me, so she will be motivated to help me.

Arrgh i just wish it was over already!

4 comments:

sarah said...

thinking of you! hope it all goes well! cannot wait to hear.
and why is it that most people who struggle with an ED always worry obsessively over what other people think? i totally get that thought.

Zena said...

hope all goes well...will be looking foward to here how it goes...and remember your fears are unfounded they are based on ED lies...

Love you, Tara

Eating Alone said...

Ok really glad you found someone. At least I hope that you did. Here's hoping you found a good one.

now.is.now said...

I hope it goes well too! I can't wait to hear about it.

I don't think you're alone with the "fat worry." When T or J go out of town for even a week, I am always nervous to see them again because what if i got fatter. It's irrational, but the worry is there.