Tuesday, February 23, 2010

alone

I am sitting in bed with my laptop and a bottle of Powerade. Just feeling crappy, physically and emotionally. Chris and the girls are at a church thing and I am all alone.

I feel so alone.

I think I am depressed because my Pristiq has not been getting absorbed. Ever since I have been sick it has been passing right through me. Not just the shell or capsule. The whole pill. Don't ask me how I know this. Just trust me, I know.
Ugh I feel like even that was TMI. *shiver*

So besides being sick I am going through med withdrawl which is not fun. I just feel sad and disconnected from everything. I am lonely right now so i am reading everyones blogs so that kind of helps. But I wish I could have a REAL conversation with one of you RIGHT NOW. I want someone to sit down next to me, someone who really understands, and take my hand, and tell me that it's ok. I'm just really hurting right now.

If you read my blog but don't usually comment (or if you do), now would be a great time leave a few words. It would really mean alot to me.

15 comments:

Eating Alone said...

Holding you hand from South Fl. And trust me it's not TMI. Heck I blogged about stiches holding my, well never mind. But hey your human and everyone does it. Plan something fun for the kids when they get back and it could be really fun!

Keep up your spirts.

Maeve said...

Skype? I totally think we need to set up skype...

I'm sorry to hear you've been going through antidepressant withdrawal. I've been there and I know how absolutely miserable it feels.

I do hope that you feel better soon!!!

*HUGE HUGS*

struggling20something said...

I wish I could be there also to have a real conversation in person. Know that you are in my prayers tonight. You are not alone and it will get better.

karo said...

Hang in there Lisa. I know it sucks and I know it hurts. But it will pass. This is a crappy time, but you will have good times again if you just keep moving forward. Maybe you should watch Drop Dead Gorgeous. It always makes me laugh. It is on youtube so no excuses! :) We need to talk soon. I am extremely overwhelmed with school at the moment, so it won't be until the weekend, but I do miss you and care about you. You can do this. Just keep swimming!

Lou Lou said...

Oh hi lisa! great to see you, I love your bedroom its so cosy looking! hmm can I have a sip of your powerade. mmmmmm that was refreshing! hey.. give me your hand immediately! you know what beautiful girl, it is all going to be okay. we can get through this together. your are not alone. we are here for you. and you are incredible and strong and i hope your meds all work out. sending light and aroha (love) and serenity to you!
your whanau (family) will be home soon and you wont be alone.
arohanui
lou

Alexandra Rising said...

Let's skype! I cant hold your hand but I can present a face and a voice and give you someone to talk to, to receive smiles and giggles from :)
Hope you feel better <3

licketysplit said...

Thinking of you and hoping you can find some comfort! (hug)

arexisaurus said...

powerade zero and champagne is my favorite cocktail
it always lifts my spirits :)
sometimes things have to suck real bad before they get real good
or you get real drunk
well, thats my philosophy
feel better! xo

now.is.now said...

Lisa, my email is lauraglaura@gmail.com You can e-mail me whenever! And, if you have g-mail, we can chat online. I wish I could have been there today with you. I hope you're getting some good rest right now. (hug)

Katilexis said...

*holds hand*
even though im not there with you, and practically on the other side of the world, im thinking about you.
you're not alone.
<3

i love bows:) said...

hey chickstar
its all going to be ok, you can and will get through this:)

watch a good film, curl up with a book, sit with your gorgeous rabbit, anything that might help you feel good:)

dont give up girl
vics x

Zena said...

hey there sweetie,
i know i havent been commenting in a while but it doesnt mean i am not reading. you are one tough chic and you will make it through this...there is a light at the other end...i promise.

i cant be there ( but i would be in a heart beat if things like magic carpets existed) just picure me holding one of your hands and god holding your other! you are loved so much more then you know, and sweetie you are NEVER alone!

so much love and gentle hand holding

I Hate to Weight said...

i have shared such information, lisa. my intestinal tract has a life of its own. lots of TMI

one time, i was visiting the rectal surgeon (some name for a profession, huh?)at the hospital. i guess it was training day for the residents, because there were about 10-15 eager young doctors staring at my cellulite while the surgeon probed my butt. for this procedure, i didn't have to take my pants off. i just had to pull them down to my ankles and bend over the table. i forgot that i had a sanitary napkin attached to my underwear and yes, i still had my period. hope THIS wasn't TMI but it was horrifyingly embarrassing.

also, the patient before me was gorgeous former supermodel, paulina porizkova. imagine being the butt to follow hers?

Cammy said...

Hey Lisa. I'm so sorry you're having a rough time, please hang in there. You are never alone, you've got tons of support here and are so special to so many people, both here and "real life".

You are a very impressive woman that is dealing with some difficult stuff, but don't lose heart. Please hang in there, this CAN get better. Don't be hesitant to go back to the doc if you don't feel like your system is working right.

Would it help to take your girls on an outing or something like that?

Much love to you.

ksgirl said...

Hi Lisa. I had a horrible night last night, too. I was crying to my husband and trying to explain why I feel that my life sucks (etc, etc.) But, anyway, the point is that I totally get what you are feeling and I know you totally get what I'm feeling and that does make me feel a little better and I hope you are feeling better, too.