I did not purge!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!
Like I told that girl at the group, sometimes recovery is uncomfortable. But I have never regretted not purging.
That said, i need to clarify something. That is, i am not on a purge-free streak anymore, unless you count one day as a streak. I purged Thurs and Fri (not Jasmines lasagna). I just didn't blog about it because I am trying not to see it as a huge failure or make a big deal about "breaking the streak". The truth is, i was pretty dissappointed in myself.
I am trying not to think in black or white. Example: "I had three weeks purge free, but then I purged and ruined everything!". When I think like that , it is easier for the ED voice to say "what the hell, youv'e ruined everything already, why not just purge".
So, my success yesterday was really important to me. I am trying really hard to challenge old beliefs and thought and behavior patterns. i regret eating everything that I did yesterday (but I think that "normal" eaters sometimes regret eating too much), but I for sure do not regret not purging!
And everyone, it was so nice, all the support I got yesterday! Love you all!
Judgement and Regrets
1 week ago