Saturday, January 16, 2010


urgh, I feel so yucky right now.

It started earlier today, when i thought going to Perkins for lunch would be a good idea. I was under the mistaken impression that "kids eat free" was all day. Just so you know, it is not all day.


So we were there, and I was feeling pretty mentally healthy and rebellious, and I thought "I do not want to order anything like I would normally get. No salads. No chicken breasts. I'm getting the Captain's Platter.

The Captain's Platter is:
fried fish, fried clams, fried shrimp, fried onions, and french fries. Oh, and a salad.


I ate pretty much most of it. By the time I got home I was freaking out mentally. But I thought, ok, ok, this is manageable. I am just done eating for the day. By tomorrow things will be just fine.

So at this point, what I want to ask is, is it eating disordered to not eat for the rest of the day if you have a huge pile of fried grease for lunch? Because it didn't feel like an eating disordered choice. I'm pretty sure my husband was on the same wavelength. He ordered something called the "Tremendous Twelve". I'm not going to even go into what that entailed.

Like I said, I was going to be ok. But then our friends came over to play the Wii, and they brought pizzas.
So i had 1 piece of pizza and 1 crepe with jam. And this was the straw that broke this camel's back.
I want to purge so bad right now my mouth is watering. Sorry to be gross, but there it is.
Still, i am comitted to not purging so instead I am going to take my medication and go to bed.
I will check back in tomorrow and let you know how I do.


Alexandra Rising said...

I hope you went to bed and avoided the purging. Thinking of you :)

Lou Lou said...

kia kaha, be strong.

Maeve said...

It's okay to have a day where you eat a lot at lunch and then eat again later even though you felt too full. Your body and metabolism can handle it, it will be okay.

The best part is you will be okay too. Stay strong and you can resist the urge to purge! You have all of us rooting for you, and we're all here to remind you that you can keep your "no purge days" going!!!!! said...

Oh I know the feeling, and I hate the feeling... It will pass, and you will not gain weight from one day. I hope you were able to avoid purging. Let us know how you did, one way or the other.


Telstaar said...

Oh chicki,

Don't you hate that? When good decisions seem to get thwarted big time!!! I'm glad that you're trying to engage in useful behaviours instead of purging but boy oh boy do i know how overwhelming that can be.
Thinking of you

*hugs with love*
Telly xo

Zena said...

how did you manage love muffin? i know its hard but its all for the greater good!I BELIEVE IN YOU!

Eating Alone said...

I should scan my perkins receipt form yesterday and show you. I know the 12 you speak of! I didn't get it but I ate my whole omlet. Then didn't eat again till like 8:00 - not solid food anyway. Your body can be like that. And if you had not had fried food for a long time your body my have been sending you "real" blah feelings not just "ED" blah feelings. I remember the first time I had fried foods after being off them for a long time. It was not a fun night.

I so hope you didn't purge. It's not worth it.