I went raspberry picking today, by myself, along this bike trail. It was pretty nice, the weather was beautiful. Everything was perfect except maybe for the fact that someone had been there before me and picked almost all the ripe berries! Oh, well, I did get some. Not enough for a pie, though, so I think I will just freeze them intil I figure out what to do with them.
Emma is coming home on sunday! Actually she is getting into town on saturday but it will be late, so I wont pick her up until sunday. I tried to find a "welcome home" sign at the party store, but they didn't have any, so I got some poster board and I'm going to make one myself. Probably Annie will help out. I am so excited to see my Emma! Heck, Im just excited for her to be back in our hemisphere! And now our summer can really begin!
I saw my D today, and made my next appointment for 2 weeks from now. It will be my last appointment. I'm not sure if I will find a new D when I move. I guess it will depend on how I am doing. Ok, so we weighed me and I am up a pound and a half since last week. I know that is not much but I am kind of worried about it. I mean, what if I just keep gaining? I talked to Mary (the D) about thhis and she said that even though I am still on the low end of normal BMI wise, it wouldn't hurt to pick a "danger weight", or a weight which i feel is to high and maybe then start a food journal and look at cutting back (if i hit the danger weight). Well, I told her that my danger weight was 5 pounds ago and she just laughed. But that's really how I feel. I couldn't imagine gaining more weight.
It's hard for me to get to a stable, appropriate intake. I have lots of experience restricting, and lots of experience eating to gain weight, but it is hard for me to gauge what I might need to just maintain. To help me out, Mary gave me some sample menus for cetain calorie ranges. I was thrilled to see that diet soda was an option for evey lunch and dinner! I think that was because the menus are mostly for diabetics, though.
I'm feeling really tempted to restrict and lose weight. I'm kind of getting through it by "putting it off". When I really start to think about restricting I tell myself I won't for one more day, and if I still want to restrict tommorrow I can. But I tell myself the same thing tomorrow, too. So that way, I never end up restricting, but still feel like it's an option, which is comforting to me somehow.
Oh, well that's about it for now.
Judgement and Regrets
1 month ago