america's heartland

This is what I have Annie doing so I can blog.

So have you ever heard the word "agribition"? Sounds kind of dirty hehe! I think it is a combination of the words "agriculture" and "exhibition". Anyways, we went to this "agribition" place called Heartland Acres today. It had a bunch of old farm stuff and some old cars and farm animals. Don't worry I wont bore you with too many pictures.

Here's me and my honey sitting on a fake cow. Woo hoo!
This picture is kind of creepy, dont you think?

I I really like this one of Emma. The expression on her face is just perfect!

Well this wasn't the most exciting place we have ever been to, but it beats just sitting at home watching tv.

Well food has been better today so far. I had planned to just go back to only Boost and fruit, but was feeling pretty bad about that decision because it seemed like a huge step back as far as healthy, normal eating goes. But I got up this morning and had a Boost and later some watermelon. The point of the Boost is, I think of it as medicine and don't purge it, so if I am purging alot it helps me to go back to eating only Boost. But it is pretty borring, and not realistic to maintain for very long.

So anyway, I had the boost for breakfast, but by the time we had lunch I was feeling better and more confident. I had packed a Boost so I could have it wherever we were at lunchtime but when we stopped for lunch I was feeling more like real food. We were at McDonalds and I did something very brave (for me). Instead of getting a salad, I got a Big'n'Tasty meal. And ate it. And didn't purge.

I did have some anxiety when I foolishly consulted the calorie guide (shouldn't have done that). But oh well, I had made up my mind that I was not going to purge and I was sticking to it!

I wonder why sometimes i have such a hard time and will even purge something small, and other times I can eat a big ol hamburger with no trouble?

I think even with the recent rockiness I am still doing better than I was a few months ago, when I couldn't eat even one normal sized meal and keep it down. I still think I need to come up with a meal plan, though. I have been giving that lots of thought And I think I wasnt to do some kind of exchange system. Now I just need to figure out how many starches and fruits and proteins ect for each meal and snack. It's just so complicated, my brain gets tired. That's why I keep thinking it would be easier to just stick with the Boost. I want to keep eating "real food" though. To me that's the challenge, but it is a worthy goal, i think.