Wednesday, July 1, 2009

not much going on

hmm, dont really know what to write about today. Still plugging along! I worked out today and got seriously hit on by this one guy, who asked me if I was marrried and told me to tell my husband he was "married to a fine-lookin' woman". It was a compliment, but I also felt kind of inrtuded upon since I was in the middle of working out. I mean, it's the YWCA, for pete's sake. One of the reasons I go there is to avoid friendly-type males. Oh well.
I weighed myself at the Y (even though I had decided to only weigh at my dietitians office) and the weight is about the same. I was kind of relieved to have quit gaining. So maybe this is my natural healthy weight. I guess that would be ok. I mean, it's not unbearable like the weight they put me up to last year when i was in treatment at UIHC. But it's still healthy, and I don't have to restrict and can eat meals with my family and even have treats. I had a take 5 McFlurry last night and it was delicious! I think those are my new favorite food.
Emma is getting back on sunday and I am so excited! I think the month has gone by super-fast.
I am kind of worried about my big move at the end of the month. Historically I do not do well with change. My ED usually siezes it's chance durring an upset and flourishes. I so want to stay on track! This is the best I have ever done in recovery, I think ever! I have certainly weighed more before (my bogus "target weight" at UIHC) but this is the first time I have ever gained weight on my own, willingly (except durring pregnancy), and I have never felt so positive and hopefull about recovery before. I guess part of me feels like I am doing TOO good; that it won't last. But if there is one thing I have learned it is to not worry too much about the future and take things one day at a time.
Well, that is about it for now. I didn't purge all day yesterday and today has been good so far. I feel very calm and peacefull today which is a good thing.
I hope everyone has a good day today and wish you all success as well!

7 comments: said...

Yeah, don't psych yourself out by worrying about the future. That will just build up pressure that you'll use the ED to deal with. Keep reminding yourself to just stay in the moment. I'm so happy you're doing so well! And I'm also happy you enjoyed your Take 5 McFlurry - that sounds delish! AND I'M HAPPY that you're working towards accepting your body. All positive things. You are being very rational.

Enjoy your day!

lisalisa said...

yeah I'm having another McFlurry much for it being a weekly challenge, I think I'm addicted!

PTC said...

Yay for McFlurries!! Lisa, you have to remember that you're not really eating meals though. Shakes don't count as meals. You're doing well though.

Cammy said...

I am moving at the end of the month too, I understand how stress-inducing that can be. Everything is out of whack, you're going to a new place, etc etc. But maybe you can look at it as an opportunity for a fresh start. It sounds like you are doing fantastic with your thoughts and goals for recovery, and sometimes a change of scenery can really be a huge help in breaking old habits and establishing new, healthier ones.

And they have Take 5 McFlurries now??? I feel a craving coming on.

Take care and treat yourself kindly,

lisalisa said...

actually, the shake was dessert. I had ravioli for dinner and it was delish!

PTC said...

I thought you were having shakes/bars for breakfast? Oh wait, I have shakes for lunch and they count as meals for me, but I don't count them as meals for you. Hypocritical much?! I am going to have a protein shake now, actually. ha! said...

hahaha - PTC, you are ridiculous :) haha